My youngest daughter Bella born into babysitter drama. The best caregiver ever was next door to me but she did not take children until they are two and potty trained. So we had to go the next best thing, and then the next and then the next. First sitter decided she could pass a curling iron a one year olds hair and ended up burning her ear (YES - I STILL FEEL IT!), the next babysitter was at home and wanted to set her own schedule making me late to work often, the next was a daycare facility that cost $280/week and the children were not taken care of properly - so many meetings and complaints. It was a revolving door with so many employees, and discontent parents. It was just bad!! We finally found the babysitter that would change our fate! Ms. Iris was awesome, she cared for our Bella like no other. And one day, I got to learn something about her culture as a Puerto Rican woman. She referred to my type of hair as "bad" or "pelo malo." It was the day she called Bella's hair "bad" that marked the beginning of something grand in all of our lives. When the incident happened, I had two choices and that was to respond as I believed I received it. Or to respond with thought, caution, respect and love. I chose love. I began to blurt out proper terms (long, short, wavy, curly, straight). It was at that point that I asked Ms. Iris if she would allow me to bring in a books that will help us both work as partners to make sure that our children's self esteem remained high. She agreed. I did not know - God would bless me with writing it. Ms. Iris also disclosed to me that her dad, whom she loved very very much was an Afro-Latino from Puerto Rico. And that he had hair just like me (tight curls). However, the term he used to describe his own hair was also "pelo malo" So when she used that term toward Bella's hair, she did not say it with malice or ill intent, it was what she knew. I am grateful that my response to her came from love. It was a learning experience for both of us. She continues to be my friend. And I have more respect for her now because she was open and committed to working in partnership with me.